Going through life half asleep might adversely affect your mental and physical well-being which may engender a whole lot of negative emotions such as being unhappy and demotivated in both your personal and professional life. Let’s be honest, life is not always rainbows and butterflies but it is not supposed to be dreary that you feel like it is meaningless either. And if you find yourself feeling lost, confused, and unproductive or lacking inspiration that drags on for days and even months, you could be stuck in a rut and you need to get out because it’s about time. Getting out of a rut requires you to have self-compassion and self-care. In my previous post, I detailed how I got stuck in a rut leading to most of my days being blurred and not looking forward to much except turning to sleep for comfort and mindlessly scrolling on social media which left me jealous and miserable. I felt discontent, engaged in negative self-talk and couldn’t even complete simple tasks. It’s been 26 days on a journey to finding and sounding like self and at present, I am happy with how far we have come. In this post you will read on how I dug myself out of a slump and reset my life.
Tracing the Cause
I remember thinking it’s almost 2024 (according to the Gregorian calendar of course!) and if I continue to feel and act this way, there was no way I would accomplish all the goals I set for myself. Instead, I would just end up being another hypocritical individual- “all talk and no action” and believe me, this is not how I want to be remembered after I have died. But I felt like I was losing control and did not know how to stop it. The reality is that every problem that we deal with has a cause and if you only fix the surface, it is very likely that the problem might certainly return and this will prompt you to fix over and over again if you do not look deeper to fix the real source of the issue. After identifying why I felt those negative emotions few weeks after my PhD graduation, I acknowledged and accepted my situation. It was not as easy as it sounds because I couldn’t understand why I was in a slump after completing a major milestone in my life. I mean, I dreamed about this day and felt accomplished. Why then did I feel so awful and empty? I turned to the internet and researched about “Life after PhD”, “Post-PhD”, “Feeling unhappy after PhD”, “Why do I feel sad after achieving my goals” and so on. Articles/blog posts on Google and YouTube videos reassured me that what I am experiencing is completely normal. Then it me hit me, I have felt this way a couple of times before and it often happens after achieving a goal or finishing a project but this time around, it felt worse than other slumps I have been in. There I was blaming myself for unwanted outcomes and it came a time where I had to pause and reflect. I knew that talking to myself harshly won’t help me in anyway so I let go of self-judgement and focused on how to get back to basics.
Take a Break
I wish somebody had talked to me about Post-PhD burnout. I was fatigued during my PhD but I pushed myself to a point where I would feel numb and lethargic. It wasn’t until few weeks after my graduation that I felt exhausted all the time and found it difficult to complete simple tasks. However, taking breaks made me feel so guilty and I knew I was doing something wrong. If you can afford it, take a trip/vacation. A change of scenery or an adventure is more like an escape from the stress at work or even at home and may help you to dig up inspiration to get your creativity going again. You have to do things that light up your soul and I promise you when you return back to your “serious” work, your mind will be refreshed. I enjoyed going to parks and being surrounded by nature and coming back from these places would get me excited about returning back to work again.
Getting Back into Routine
I fell off track with my daily routine since I got an email informing me that I will be graduating in May, 2023. That was January, 2023. I decided I will take a break to reward myself of the hard work I had put in while writing my dissertation, I deserved it. Then came July, 2023 and I thought, “Oh! I can always get back on track after my birthday month” and in a blink of an eye it was December, 2023. All I said was “I will do it later…” and I never did. The disruption of my routine had negative repercussions on my well-being, health and productivity. On the second week of January,2024 I scheduled my time and decided to wake up in the morning and blocked out things that needed to be done at a certain time to help with my carrying on necessary tasks. These were realistic time blocks with breaks in between. For instance, in the morning I would not set an hour of a morning stretch because I knew I would not complete it or 5 hours of focusing on my personal projects in the evening. During the week I prefer working out 30-45 minutes each morning and give personal projects at least 2-3 hours in the evening.
The changes I made were gradual and I made sure I break away from perfectionism. I should also add that during this time, I did a 21 day social media detox (except YouTube), made a weekly meal prep and had a weekly plan of my daily tasks. In a nutshell, I replaced bad habits with good ones. For instance, my morning routine not only incorporated a home work-out but also journaling, reading 10 pages of any type of self-help book and practicing 15-20 minute mediation. If I found myself scrolling on YouTube way past my bed time, I would take my phone to the other room or shut it off. Whenever I found myself dooms scrolling, I would replace it with a 15 minute meditation or a stroll around my apartment complex. I must admit it, there is no such thing as a perfect routine. Many unexpected challenges will be thrown your way during the day and while many of us look up to other people for inspiration of “ideal routines”, it’s very important to make sure that your routine is created for you and it is not only flexible but practical and enjoyable. You do not want to find yourself overwhelmed and being controlled by your day or just winging it.
My Daily Routine (except on weekends)
05:15 a.m – Wake up, brush my teeth and splash my face with cold water
05:30 a.m – Home Work-Out
06:00 a.m – Shower, moisturise, put clothes on, etc
06:30 a.m – Drink water, read 10 pages of a book, journal and meditate
08:30 a.m – Work, work and more work
12:00 p.m – Lunch
13:30 p.m – Work, work and more work
16:00 p.m –Break
5:30 p.m – 15 minute Full body stretch
18:30 p.m – Dinner
19:30 p.m – Edit a blog post or video/attend an online course/catch up on global updates(this is my time to focus on my personal/creative projects)
21:30 – 15 minutes meditation
22:00- Sleep
The journey is not always linear and it’s okay.
Practice Gratitude
Having an attitude of gratitude is underrated by so many of us; especially when we are in the midst of chaos. I am not insinuating that you turn a blind eye when you are going through hard times but being thankful is a reminder for all the good things that surrounds you despite the negatives. Growing up, I used to roll my eyes when my grandmother used to tell me to be grateful for the fact that I have been given an opportunity to hold a broom and sweep the floor. Back then, I didn’t think much of it; it wasn’t a big deal. “Humans are supposed to be able to do these chores” so I thought, but I was wrong. Personally, gratitude has kept me afloat during some dark phases of my life and I regard it as an essential to everyday life. We all cultivate gratitude in different manners and for me, it starts with listing three things I am grateful for every morning. I also maintain a gratitude journal all year around that helps me reflect and close out the day. Practicing gratitude has played a great role on my well-being and made my journey to coming home to self and getting back on track easier.
Final thoughts on digging yourself out of a slump….
“It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.” Jillian Michaels
Sometimes we think we are stuck in a rut and that could be true and sometimes it’s not always the case; it’s deeper than a slump and can be serious. I have been in and out of slumps and have been fortunate enough to shake it off without needing any support of family and friends or professional help. I am not there yet but also I am not trying to achieve a level of perfection. As Jillian Michaels says: “It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.” If you have found yourself in a similar situation and have been practicing habits that may help you restore normalcy and still don’t make you feel “you” again, you might have to seek professional assistance.
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